Kelvin Lam

this is not a typical blog. This is not me being really insightful or just something beautiful. This is me grappling with something that I should not be. dealing with someone thats out of my control and not even one of my friends. I do not know where to start because I think it’s not quite my stuff to throw out there. So, in honor of other people involved here goes:

I struggled with this person for about January or so.

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Around Christmas time, as I was bumming around the car to my very empty (and cold) apartment, I thought about how my room is a mess and how much effort it will take. Then I had the brilliant idea that perhaps, as a Christmas present for me, I’ll have one of these wardrobe consultants to help me prepare my wardrobe. Hah. What a joke right? Me? The confessed Hoarder of all things with the bulging closet, hire someone to help me prepare my wardrobe. Bleah. Seriously, it’s a nice thought. But until I’m really ready to bite the bullet and not accumulate good things, it will be a waste of money, because once it left my apartment, I’ll probably be back online seek to replace all the elements, it made me give up! No, it must start with me. I must make my wardrobe to me. I need for my room. Myself. I looked in the mirror today. Apparently, a week not to work on myself crazy scraping and made me a little weight I had lost over the past year. It is not surprising. The loss is hard. Winning is simple: (I mean that I will make a new resolution for 2009. But I know better. It will not stick. But it means that I can only try to improve myself. To keep the Improving I find things about myself that needs to be improved.

the lights went out and we got online. in a concentric circle, nothing less. the river of life flowed into the night, as a babbling brook, a dream final declaration of his life. but instead of shouting out loud, he chose to whisper softly. volume is, after all, but a measure of decibels.
arriving late, he stood there, waiting. enter the circle late, he contented himself with the rogues, with and around the periphery. the world has felt finish tonight – the glasses are well rounded, for coasters and the full moon – but it is not quite fully. as hundreds of thousands, if estimates are correct, met with water in celebration of the gods who give life, and commoners, opponents and even became bathed in glory, he soaked his feet in the water and the acute alarm aroused, withdrew instantly.
he attended his last possessions – the old jacket of his dead mother and brought to the rear, an unfinished cigarette, some seeds of daffodils and wet and almost destroyed the card – and set out to find the place where he knew that he had to do.
but when the sun was slinking down the horizon, it opens up to him was right where it began.

It is 12:05 and nothing can drown the noise of New Year celebration on this side of the world. Although people are now almost burning their money with firecrackers and fireworks, they bought, scraping yet another hole in the ozone layer (Correct me if I’m wrong, Al Gore), I try to pass that mutation of the year, with best wishes for 2008. This year, I wish for more (in no particular order):
* Kinds of chocolates to try for the first time
* Frequent bursts of inspiration to fix my room, and less distraction, it
* New (or less rusty) bus to run on my way to work
* The time with friends, old times and new facts
* The potential benefit of my family live here and abroad
* To acquire the skills or not related to my work
* Courage to take risks and greater confidence in God
* Books that challenge my mind, go in my heart, make me act
* The income that will excite my taste
* To watch movies that make me think about life and a world not my own
* The wisdom of doing what is right and avoid what is wrong
* Some travel from near and far from the places that make me sigh and appreciate God’s creation
* Determination to go for regular exercise machine
* Walks and discussions are in no hurry
* Appetite to eat vegetables ( "Beng, it is good for you!")
* Liaison moments with my students in Sunday school College
* The love in my heart for people
* Spontaneity to try new things!
* Thai food places to discover
* Songs to sing and listen
* The challenges that make me realize how much I can not survive the life of my own
* Intimate relationship with God
I could continue, but for now, this list will be sufficient. So what’s on your wish list for?
Happy New Year to all! May your heart be filled with hope that in and by the abundance of God’s grace.

i hate shopping. have always done. however, i love my friends. I’m cursed crabby that when faced with descion. on bail, or go to hell .. er .. i mean, the mall. yes, I’m gone. Yesterday, I desperately need to get out of the house. if I stayed there that day, I probably explode. Yes, as you can see in my last post, I went out with jen and Meghan. (fun side note: about 10 to 30 last night, I received a call from "witheld" which means I can not see the number. Me: Hello? witheld: OME! WHAT THE HALE? * i it practical knowledge is a joke to hear, because the goal, my status was "ome! that pulls!" * me: … who is it? witheld: who do you, bitch? me quite annoyed * at this point. I try to write and they are simply losing 100 minutes * i get well, whatever, call me just yet, okay? "* * hangs so .. i was a little angry that all Snappy, funny, witty stuff came after the call. Bummer. oh, well, they may ask again) Today, however, I received a call from katy to 11-ish this morning, and she wanted me to go shopping with her. "Just Marshall and The Apple Store," she promised. … not so much. Marshall try, the Apple Store , Aeropostale, Abercrombie, borders (my idea), bath and body, the icing (a fake, more costly, clear, I think. same basic amount of tacky crap), Sephora, a makeup boutique lotion – whose name I can not remember, and a few others, I think. I am convinced that I have seen a May ligitiment pedaphile there. Of course, this description is drawn from steriotypes, but this guy has a black felt, a trench-coat black, black trousers, he just looked like zoro or something, and holding a small child labor around the mall. Now I know I’m not the only one who thinks that. So I Tell my mother to tell her, for God knows what reason. and she told me to stay away from him, of course, and security center to appeal, it is close to me. Typical response of the mother. yes, I have been primarily through the practice of torture around a shopping mall, and after myself two slices of pizza and a bottle of iced tea, all eleven dollars left. I I discovered that ate pizza terrible katie do not really consider me his friend, but more than katy. so it was kind of a let down to me. camp should be quite uncomfortable with this information in mind . but it is nice to see Katy, whereas it was almost five months. peace.

I am currently damn-i-have-a lot-uni-work-so-i-need-to-pretend-I’m-done-it hibernation. For this kind of hibernation of certain elements are necessary … allows you to list that we (by we I mean me, but do not hesitate to make a list, too)
      * Huge soundproof headphones so you can blast music without disturbing anyone … I’m careful like that:)
      * Good music … so that you may use your headphones unbelievable.
      * A good internet connection … you can claim your search, but do everything really, but
      * Some well-loved books to re-read … dark nights are always good for this
      * Some new books to devour … because of new books and make them more like books.
      * Study books … just in case you were focused enough to work
      * The chocolate candy …. To give you enough energy to follow all the work you do
      * Funky pajamas … because the best kind of pajamas, duh
      * Comfortable slippers .. to show your love feet
The last item on the list is the only thing I was lacking. I desperately need new shoes. My feet get cold easily and seem to be cold when the rest of my body is hot and what kind of hibernation, it causes all kinds of pain. A trip to matalan is in order and sometimes the last week I ventured out in the cold in search of comfortable slippers, something to keep my feet warm and cozy. Matalan necessary to provide and deliver in a white fluffiness my feet sank in once my feet were in slippers, I swear it gave them a much needed hug. How could I not buy slippers that hugged my feet. I ignored the voice of the mother, they say white, white is wrong with the awkwardness, I’m known for. I told him it was racist, if so, what were the white slippers I was in love. Why would she accept my love! She made amends for his pay to buy them for 2.99 (2.99 yup you did not read the matalan little?)
And I spent a whole day in my slippers, enjoying the gentle caresses, it was oh joy …. The next day, I divided the tea over them.

Try as hard as I can, but still. I could not keep enough G and to the point. Because it is a great word.
Connard. This is the word. And that’s my cat.
Well, one of my cats, or more. We have both. James, an orange tabby, has been with us for some time. It is sweet, shy and wary. Oh, you leave a pet, but there must be, like most cats, on its terms. With an eye on the lookout, you can safe in animal purrs. But it is particularly shy.
And then there is our dog, Savannah.
Each of them a tour of our house and are accustomed to the presence of the other. To the point of friendship.
Then my mother-in-law fell ill last year. She is concerned about the fate of his cat, Nick, as she lay dying in a hospice room. He was assured that it would be, what we bring into our home and take care of him as if he was a part of our family. It has been. We had no choice.
So I decided to gradually put on him, just before the inevitable.
Now Nico is another type of cat. At least what we have been used for James. Nico is a great (read: fat), short gray hair with a white underneath and mittens. It is also very strong. While James is reluctant, Nico is great. It welcomes you, when it is ready, of course, almost anyone. But he has his own technique. It will approach you and flop on the side, exposing its rotunda circumference for you animal. It makes you a favor, you know. "Here it is. Go ahead, it’s ok, you can have it," he seems to suggest, rather obviously.
He took to his new residence, as if it had never been absent. Meow hard as he explored new HIS lair. No matter that James and Savannah are already firmly established. They were just trouble Nick. It was his new platform. And he also let them know in clear terms.
He had a blast every time Savannah attempt to check for him, swatting at him with one of her legs. Savannah and learned to stay out of the new king of the way.
The squeeky wheel is fat.
Maybe I could learn something from him.

This will be a short message, because I am quite looking forward to the workshop from my mother. I’m afraid that I will be unable to write when I’m back after staying all day in the studio, with fatigue.
I just want to say that I only have a true friend to heart all my life. Maybe I am quite impatient likely to treat everyone, but good, honest, it is the only one I can cope for so long without regretting having such a friend. Not in the past, not in the present. I understand that friends will always argue. But still, the next day, they will rub off everything and continue to speak ill or drag. Yesterday I tried to find my bestie dota a game, hope that everything will be fine after the game. I am serious too naive. In addition, the Feast of the online music offline, stopped the game and do our conversation.
This morning, the first thing I did was open his blog. I am sure that it will send something. As I thought, she issued a new one. I’m not sure is it reflects to me. At least when I put my name in each of its "you", it fits. I am not writing to his comments because some of them earlier than I do. Maybe some are not in order of comments, but I do. I feel like I’m not the first to say that I will not leave alone, no matter what happened.
Friends forever, and in my life and I stay with it for so long. Kev sometimes I’m tired but I always said I am not, because it is my best friend and the only contact. She thought that I put in my priority and Kev has always after. Okay, I admit that Kev is my priority, but it is the same too. I never put her after Kev. I must say that everything is because of timing. I do like my responsibility to push on something else, can not I? But it’s reality. She always said that I mention Kev Kev Kev in front of him that actually annoyed her. If indeed complaint Kev and I always mention Viv Viv Viv in front of him. I want them to know that both of them are very important to me and try to treat them fairly by bringing them together. Of course, I find myself again screwing. She did not know that I really pushed all of my friends invitation but I am not pushing his own because it is the only one I care and I want to go out with.
In any case, the more I type, the more I feel that I am trying to show how much am I. This is not my point. I just want to say that, whatever it is always my priority. Yes, I must confess that sometimes it can not get me when she needs me, but seriously, I have no idea what night or afternoon because I’m on my mobile 24 / 7. Is there a network problem or my mobile? I do not know. I have no record showed that she called me many times in the past. But again, I want to say that I will always be there for you. I’m not sure what can I appear immediately when you need me, but at least I will try my best to be more of you forever and I will not leave any match or we argued how much you hate me. I do not need you to be nice to me, I just hope that when you do not have anyone to talk, you think of me.

Aah ~ I’m broke again.
Christmas is past, and therefore half of my vacation. I have spent every penny that I have received for the holidays. I do not know if I regret it or not. I do not think I do. I’m really happy. I will probably not farther, however. But for now, I will take my state of bliss.
(To my surprise, my father bought me a flat screen for frikken x-mas. I never expected that, given the way he is one of the bills complaining all the time. And yes, I am enjoying my new goodness amd 22 inch)
–
I had about $ 300 to spend. Not much, but hey, I’m poor. I can not wait ’til I’m old enough to get a part-time job. It sucks when your parents are not even give you an allowance. In any case, more than half of the money had to go to buying a new coat and a new pair of boots. I did about $ 100 or myself if I went myself and "Chrono Trigger" because I know this is a game great. I had already tried before, I knew I wanted it. Moreover, I have a thing for the classics. I spent the rest of my money on manga.
I need to ask my father to make a shelf for my manga. They are all close to my room and an old nag to have to go for my manga. I need in my room whithin my reach. And increasingly, they are not all fit on my old-ray anyway.
In fact, I already had "After School Nightmare" v.01 and 02. I just put ‘em side by side, because it looks cooler. I’ve got ‘em in English because the chapters (here) did not’ em. The title is "The Infirmary after class," which is a shit if you ask me. Manga French securities tend to suck more because they are most often translated horrible … they are worse off that most of the titles in English.
Anyways, six more volumes of After School Nightmare, and it will become the second in the series, I bought all the volumes. Chobits is the first and had six or seven years. I will confess that I like this series more. Murder game, people endangered, a love triangle, a half-man/woman … Wow, I love, if it had a Drama CD. Other French translated manga that I bought is "If your dream come true …" which is "If you dream becomes reality …" I think that is a compilation of a beating. I have not yet read.
But on a great note. Renaud-Bray (English bookstore here) is an extension of their stock. They never sold anything remotely close to BL before (or I just blind?) And a few Fanservice / ecchi manga (or have been hidden from sight). I mean now, I see everywhere and BL lot of other titles I did not even available in bookshops in English here (I found Dogs: bullets and carnage ultimate surprise …). Asuka thank you for the publication of numerous titles in the BL in English I see! I think I found the love for the new manga French. I mean, they are less expensive than the French themselves and some of them own English translation.
Okay wow, I too justified.
The other two were worth my money. I’m surprised I did not find Drama CD "Alley of First Love" … Perhaps there is enough of childhood friends falling in love stories there. Yet it is cute. "Fallen Love" was too large. He bishies-history and fantasy. It is a compilation of plans for a more or less linked. I loved the one with the magic user who wanted to die, but could not.
Vol.01 Death Note was a gift. I read it, even if I have already done online. It just goes to show that I like reading manga with the volume in my hands rather than online. I feel that I can appreciate art more when I’m the owner. I can spend more time watching art, because my eyes do not turn red.
misterbishie-in-the-mist
something and I drew love me because I connect
Many of my friends tell me I am wasting money because I can read manga online for free. But I do not think that is right. I do not think I need to explain it because I think most already understand. On the one hand, I buy the manga because I have the volume. I also buy them because I like the pleasure of going to a bookstore and browsing a manga. I spend hours to decide on which I spend my money on manga and can wait until I have received more money. I normally go to the store intending to buy something, but I always change my mind and try something else. It’s fun and I support the industry. I do not think that is a waste at all. The only time I did when I bought "Twelve." Gods, which was a waste of money.
Well, my mom thinks it’s a waste of money to buy manga. I think she prefers to buy new clothes to wear and other things. But honestly, that lasts longer? The manga or clothing? (IT’S THE MANGA! And, I wear a uniform to school)
Well, wow. I wrote too. Apologies.

drink a sugar bordered cosmo.
I’m stuck up rich .. Not cool.
Been in a good mood today .. wanted sum of my year.
My last year of 2008 has been a change ….
Now i sound like Barack Obama in this bitch, but he really has been a year of change for me. I found myself and achieved many things. I honestly think that I grew up a little. I know who I am and I think everyone who knows me .. knows who I am now. This year has started … no new years kiss, and there is no end of new years, or kiss. Frankly, I do not want one. It was a year of celibacy. And I need another. I had no Valentine’s Day, no cuddle buddy for the holidays, no one to spend my birthday with … It was wonderful. My friends, I have taken place. When i didn’t have there for me boy, I had my friends .. Jacey was with me at every holiday … only too ..=] and as I have my friends, whatever, ill be fine. =]
It was a year that I gave more than I received. I was a friend to people who need an hour. I volunteered to places that need it. It was a year of change ..
… I would like to 2009. Its our years, the class of 09. New vid coming years again .. better this year, cuz its our year. with the former .. with 09.