Relationships and Guilt
this is not a typical blog. This is not me being really insightful or just something beautiful. This is me grappling with something that I should not be. dealing with someone thats out of my control and not even one of my friends. I do not know where to start because I think it’s not quite my stuff to throw out there. So, in honor of other people involved here goes:
I struggled with this person for about January or so.
not even sure and honestly it doesn’t matter. I do not like the guy and I never really. see I’m big on respect and honor and integrity, this guy has shown none. I stress that word SHOWN because it has not displayed even if everyone says he has. I met the guy a few times and I never hung out with him more than two minutes so I do not really know him, but nothing ever stopped him. I do not know what it is but i cannot stand him. I feel bad because I am in sin with him because I believe in the gods whose loyalty and I know that anger towards him. I’m the guy that I trust all until they give me a reason not too. He raped me indirectly. He went into a relationship with my best friend and I still to face, even now, eight months later! thats garbage. i, who is usually quick to forgive me struggling to get past it. I have forgiven but I’m worried about him so much. just to see his name threw me on the edge, even worse when he is around I’m in a state of high alert. I do not know what to do with this guy. I spoke with him again and again. I do not know if my friend will continue to deal with my frustration for a lot longer, but I pray that God please heal my heart. cause i really think my heart was deeply cut by him. he attacked me by my best friend, of all people, person i spend most of my time with and knows more about me. thats not right! I hope that through this blog, I can find a way to be peace.
I would very much appreciate the prayers of the saints on this one and really need to recover, but I too struggle with putting stuff down. especially when its an attack on my Ehart. I just hope and pray that you guys would be able to support me through prayer and also accountablity. This is my sin and its broad out in the open for all to see. I did not give names because I do not want to slander the names or people out. the reason I put this is my own stuff out there for me to read and he speaks as a testament to the work of Christ in me one day. Thank you for reading and I’ll post another blog in minutes. God bless you!